So last night I got drunk and played Skyrim

karlosmadera:

I’m still torn on whether this is the greatest thing I’ve ever done or the stupidest. 

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I normally scroll right past these long-ass posts and rarely if ever reblog them, but, um, yeah. Drunk Skyrim FTW.

Source: karlosmadera

aatombomb:

muffpunch:

Al Sharpton vs. The Teleprompter

Doesn’t MSNBC have an intern they can force to practice the teleprompter with Al Sharpton before he goes on the air?

Omg, Chipotle. 

Why was traffic problems email sent.

Source: muffpunch

Michele Bachmann’s Bible is actually just Revelation, Golden Calf & 2 lines of Leviticus duct-taped to a Left Behind book.
Instagram by Aaron Paul (glassofwhiskey) with the caption “*Spoiler Alert #BreakingBad”

Instagram by Aaron Paul (glassofwhiskey) with the caption “*Spoiler Alert #BreakingBad”

Perfect tweet is perfect.

Perfect tweet is perfect.

ariverisariver:

krispayne:

diggvideos:

Eagle flies into megachurch; megachurch chants U-S-A; Eagle crashes into window. 

HAHA. Tulsa.

This is my favorite video ever.

Awesomesauce.

Source: diggvideos

Another deftly-executed sidestep, well played!

Another deftly-executed sidestep, well played!

robotlemon:

couldn’t resisth.

O. M. G.

robotlemon:

couldn’t resisth.

O. M. G.

As dictated to his mortal amanuensis, 11-time Emmy Award–winning comedy writer David Javerbaum, God looks back with unprecedented candor on his time in the public sector. He takes us behind the scenes of Genesis, setting the record (un)straight on the real first couple, Adam and Steve, and challenging long-held notions about the viability of containing a phylogenetically complete double bestiary within a 450,000-cubic-cubit watercraft. For the first time, he breaks his silence on Jesus Christ, shedding light on a father-son relationship as heartwarming as Will and Jaden Smith’s. And he reveals his true feelings about his third great faith, Islam, WHICH ARE NOTHING BUT POSITIVE AND RESPECTFUL.
But The Last Testament doesn’t just look back. It also offers God’s perspectives on the perennial quagmires of love, marriage, and smiting. And he takes an 27.99 unfiltered look at contemporary society, addressing such hot-button topics as:
• Why he loves America
• What he listens for in a good prayer
• Which sports teams he really roots for
• Which celebrities are totally gay
Sometimes preachy, sometimes holier-than-thou, but always lively, The Last Testament is a tale of courage, adversity, and triumph. It’s the ultimate celebrity autobiography, sure to appeal to not only hardcore God fans and “worshipers,” but to anyone who’s ever had total omnipotence. If you place complete faith in the literal truth of one book written by God, make it The Last Testament.
(via The Last Testament: A Memoir by God by David Javerbaum)

As dictated to his mortal amanuensis, 11-time Emmy Award–winning comedy writer David Javerbaum, God looks back with unprecedented candor on his time in the public sector. He takes us behind the scenes of Genesis, setting the record (un)straight on the real first couple, Adam and Steve, and challenging long-held notions about the viability of containing a phylogenetically complete double bestiary within a 450,000-cubic-cubit watercraft. For the first time, he breaks his silence on Jesus Christ, shedding light on a father-son relationship as heartwarming as Will and Jaden Smith’s. And he reveals his true feelings about his third great faith, Islam, WHICH ARE NOTHING BUT POSITIVE AND RESPECTFUL.

But The Last Testament doesn’t just look back. It also offers God’s perspectives on the perennial quagmires of love, marriage, and smiting. And he takes an 27.99 unfiltered look at contemporary society, addressing such hot-button topics as:

• Why he loves America

• What he listens for in a good prayer

• Which sports teams he really roots for

• Which celebrities are totally gay

Sometimes preachy, sometimes holier-than-thou, but always lively, The Last Testament is a tale of courage, adversity, and triumph. It’s the ultimate celebrity autobiography, sure to appeal to not only hardcore God fans and “worshipers,” but to anyone who’s ever had total omnipotence. If you place complete faith in the literal truth of one book written by God, make it The Last Testament.

(via The Last Testament: A Memoir by God by David Javerbaum)